Numb
by Bridget Shannon Erin Malfoy
Summary: Bridget's sister wants her to be the perfect actress, but what happens when Bridget is pushed too far? Based on Linkin Park's song Numb. PG-13 for suicide


A/N: Okay, Obviously I don't own the Harry Potter Characters. Though there's only slight mention of them. The song lyrics to Numb belong to Linkin Park.  
  
She wore dark clothes. It was unlike her to. She usually wore bright colours. Pink was her favorite. Lately it was different though. She was tired of it. Tired of her older sister telling her what to be of whom to be. She knew all her sister wanted for her was a better life than what she had. She wanted her to be better than their mother. She was being pushed into the same fate as her mother.  
  
I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
  
Feeling so faithless  
  
Lost under the surface  
  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
  
Put under the pressure  
  
Of walking in your shoes  
  
Bridget sat by the lake looking at her reflection. The black colour of her lipstick matched the way she felt. numb. Black covered the bloodstains, too. She felt so ashamed of who she was, who she wanted to be. She wanted to be herself. Every day she became more and more like her sister and less like Bridget. Not even her twin Hermione would try to talk to her. She was too far-gone. None of her friends talked to her any more. Her boyfriend, Harry had dumped her. He said that she was so different than the girl that he asked out. She knew deep in her heart that he was right. She tried to pretend like she didn't care. She suppressed the tears and the screams and the hurt. The actress that her sister had wanted her to be was perfect, flawless. She had become such a good actress that besides the way she dressed no one knew the world of pain and hurt she felt inside.  
  
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you I've  
  
Become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you  
  
Her grades have slipped. Every day she had gotten letters from her sister, telling her that she needed to pull her grades up before her next audition. She sat motionless looking around. She glanced down at a piece of her exposed wrist. It was covered in scars from her suicide attempts. Her life was meaningless. It meant nothing. She had done nothing that suited her. Every time she tried to change who she was, it would always end up the same; a tattered ruin of her dream. It had started out as a game and turned into a nightmare. Can't you see that you're smothering me  
  
Holding too tightly  
  
Afraid to lose control  
  
'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
  
Has fallen apart right in front of you  
  
Bridget wanted her sister to forget about her. To live out her own life and give Bridget hers back. The more she heard from her sister that she never wanted her to be like their mother; the more she cut herself. Bridget figured that every drop of blood lost, she was one step closer to being like her mother. [Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
  
Every step that I take is  
  
Another mistake to you  
  
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
  
And every second I waste  
  
Is more than I can take And I know  
  
I may end up failing too  
  
But I know  
  
You were just like me  
  
With someone disappointed in you  
  
Bridget was fed up. She was tired of the pain, tired of the lies, tired of being what her sister wanted her to be. She found the heaviest rock she could and slipped it into her pocket. She knew that she never wanted to be what her sister wanted her to be. She knew that she couldn't be that. Bridget jumped. She fell to the bottom of the lake.  
  
Epilogue  
  
A week later Bridget's body was found. The funeral was short. The only person that bothered to show up was the priest. Everyone else had either forgotten about her or given up on her..  
  
A/N: So, what do 'ya think? Reviews pleeezzzz! 


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